I Refuse!

To see another person become skinny right before my eyes!! One of my lovely co workers has taken up going to the gym! And while I am extremely proud of her, I refuse to see her slim down without me! I know it sounds harsh and its not a competition but this is starting to SUCK! But at the same time its motivating :)




Today I did the same as yesterday, 2 slimfasts several 100 cal packs throughout the day and sushi for dinner. I did only have 1 diet soda but my H2O intake sucked! I keep forgetting my darn flavor packets for the water! I will not forget, I will not forget! Towards the end of the day I was craving PIZZA! Like loaded with cheese and grease kind! Luckily the bf talked me out of it! It was tough to fight! Thanks BF :)



I really need to get to the gym! After I get back from Vegas I will make that a weekly mini goal! Working out makes me feel like I am accomplishing more.



:)

One Day At A Time

Today was a good day. I had a slim fast for breakfast and lunch and a few 100 calorie treats in between. For dinner hamburger helper with 93/7 lean beef and 3 slices of wheat bread with some I cant believe its not butter and a diet dr pepper. And LOTS of H2O.


I am trying to set some mini goals for myself since drastic change all at once is too overwhelming and ends up in me ordering half of the taco bell menu! Lol


So for this week my goal is to try at least ONE new recipe. I tend to get bored with smart ones, lean pockets and the like and that also leads to you know over eating! So by changing it up a tad I am hoping to stick to this longer. I also want to drink lots of water and only 1 diet soda a day!

FML.

As I was walking through the gym of our clinic a patient yelled out hey you need to use these machines!

=(

Fail.

Its been awhile...

Last night I was going through my google reader and came up on a post with a womans face and on the bottom was news that she had passed away. I clicked on the link and she was a woman in her 30s with a heart condition and weighed 300lbs. Her blog was about her struggle, she had just joined Weight Watchers and was stuck with her weight loss, she wasnt showing much improvement. Over the weekend she had a heart attack at Walmart and died. I was so sad to hear this, I didnt know her but the fact that she was so young and taken away from her family was awful. The situation also scared me! I am not 300lbs but the reality is that if I keep this up I will be, and I will cut my life short...and I am not ready yet! I havent had my dream job, I havent had my dream wedding, I havent started my family, I just havent started LIFE! and I am not ready to die....

This past weekend I went to Vegas, and I was absolutely mortified. Every pic was tear inducing. I am so upset with myself. I am upset for not caring enough about my body to keep it healthy. I am upset that I cringe after seeing my reflection in the mirror. I am upset that I would rather be at home in my pjs hiding from the world because I am too embarrased about my weight and it keeps me from truly living my life!

I always try to tell myself hey your a nice girl and at certain angles you are pretty. It could be worse. Dont worry you dont have to own a full length mirror.

I am sad to think of what will happen to me, will I die? Will I give up? Will I hide forever? Will I ever get married and have a family?

I dont want to feel this way! I hate it! I dont know whats next but for today I have been drinking more water, and made some good food choices. Tomorrow who knows?

3.10.10~ I'll never be skinny! =(

Breakfast


~Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte(3)
~1/2 c egg substitute(1), 2oz Turkey Sausage(2), 1 serv fat free diced potatoes(1)
~2 slices of Turkey Bacon(2)



Lunch

~Half ham & cheese on wheat(10) I cant remember if it had cheese! You would think I would! oy vey
~Snack Size Fritos(4)
~Snickerdoodle Cookies(9)

Dinner
~Spaghetti- 3oz Spaghetti(4), 1oz 93/7 lean beef (1), 1/2 cup light Ragu(2)
~2 slices of 45 cal wheat bread(1) 1 tbsp I cant believe its not butter(1)

Snack
~Apple Jacks w/ Skim Milk(3)
~ Girl Scout Cookies(4)

Total Pts= 48 (whaaaaaat!?) I am going really extreme here because I completely blew it at counting today!

Allowance Used= 19 of 35

3.9.10~......?

I went to the gym this morning! =D I got in 20 minutes of the elliptical(i hate it!) & 15 minutes of the treadmill. I always wish we can stay longer, but the gym opens at 5 and we need to be out on the road by

5:45! I am going to try and start going for  at least another 1/2 hour after work 3x a week! I said TRY =D

Breakfast
~Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte(3)
~Egg Sandwich(3)
~Applesauce(1)

Snack
~ Light String Cheese(1)

Lunch
~California Roll- 4 pieces (2)
~4 oz teriyaki chicken(6)
~2 shrimp Tempura(3)
~ 1 c white rice(4)

Dinner
~Burrito(4)- 1 oz 80/20 ground beef(2) High Fiber Low Carb Wheat Tortilla(0) 2 tbsp Fat Free Sour Cream(0), Salsa(0), 1/2 c fat free beans(1), 1 oz avocado(1)

Snack
~ Weight Watcher Brownie(2)

Pts Used= 29
Pts Left= 0

3.8.10~ Oh Hey There

I AM BACK!!! like REALLY back =D I did 45 minutes of the gym this morning like REALLY worked out my shirt was wet! lol and I was very good with my water and stayed within my points! =D As you can see I bypassed my weigh in. SO I am working extra hard to pick up last weeks slack.

Breakfast

~ Venti Skinny Hazelnut Latte(3)
~ Egg & Ham Sandwich(2)

Snack
~ Orange(1)

Lunch
~ Progresso Soup(2)
~Grilled Cheese(2)
~Applesauce(1)
~Sugar Free Chocolate Pudding(1)

Snack
~ light string cheese(1)
~Caramel drizzle rice cakes(2)

Dinner
~2 pita pizzas(8)

Snack
~ Apple Jacks w/ 1/2 c skim milk(4)
~Tagalong Cookie(2)


Pts used=29
Pts Lft= 0

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3.3.10~ Self Motivating Speech

Most overweight people I know or watch on TLC or hear about seem to always have a reason as to why they are as overweight they are. But me, I have no excuse, I havent popped out a demon child, I don't stuff my face because of my traumatic childhood, both my parents are alive and kicking so I can't blame losing them on my gluttony, I have a bf who loves me regardless of my # on the scale so I can't say I eat because I am lonely, I am confident within reason, and I don't have an uber busy life were I only have time to hit up a drive thru. Not having an excuse is, I think, a good thing because its no ones fault but my own and I that's half the battle otherewise ALL those excuses or reasons would have to be overcome 1st right!? So what's my problem!?I simply LOVE food! =D I give the here & now excuses for example I used to say I have no money for a gym membership, or weight watchers...But now I do and do you think I use them to the fullest!? Nope. So what's next!? What motivates me!? A smaller pants size? A longer life? Social acceptance? Well all of the above and then some! I need to get excited about this!! And I need to be done with this challenge in my life and move on! I can do this :)



Breakfast
~Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte(3)
~1 1/2 Cup Captain Crunch w/ 1/2 cup fat free milk(3)

Snack
~ Mini Rice Krispie Treat(2)

Lunch
~ Turkey Burger on Wheat(6)
~1/2 Fries 1/2 Fried Zucchini(8)

Dinner
~ 2 cups of apple jacks(3) p.s. I LOVE that they added more fiber because it lowers the pts!!! ahahahaha =D
~1/2 cup of fat free milk(1)
 
Snack
~Sliced Canned Peaches in Light Syrup(1)
 
Total Points Used=27
Points Left= 2
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3.2.10~ B.O.R.E.D

I am bored with this! I eat the SAME thing all the time and its boring. I am too lazy to go to the gym, and I am too lazy to try to cook other stuff! I am in a rut. I am not cheating I am just going through the motions. Does anyone have any workout music suggestions my playlist blows! I like pretty much anything. I just need something to get me moving! Also does anyone have any quick tasty NEW meal ideas!? I NEED HELP bloggy support people!

Breakfast

~ Egg Sandwich(3)
~Venti Skinny Hazelnut Latte(3)

Lunch
~Smart One(5)
~Sugar Free Chocolate puddin(1)
~Light String Cheese(1)
~Quaker Caramel Rice Cakes(2)
~WW Brownie(2)

Snack
~ Special K Crackers(1), laughing cow swiss cheese(1)


Dinner
~Chicken Sandwich(5)
~Brocc & Cheese Rice(3)

Snack
~Nutty Bar(2)

Points Used=29
Points Left=0

3.1.10~ Just going through the Motions
Breakfast
~ Venti Skinny Hazelnut Latte(3)
~ Egg Sandwich(3)- Bagel Thin, 2 slices of 98% fat free ham,1/2 cup egg substitute

Lunch
~ Smart One- Tuna Noodle(5)
~Light String Cheese(1)
~Orange(1)
~Weight watchers brownie(2)
~2 slices of 45 cal bread(1) w/ 1 slice of fat free cheese(1)

Snack
~ Sugar Free Chocolate Pudding(1)

Dinner
~ Hamburger(8)- sandwich thin, 1/2 avocado,3 oz 93/7 lean beef,lettuce,tomato,ketchup,mustard,fat free mayo
~1 cup Cheddar & Broccoli Rice(4)

Snack
~ Canned Sliced peaches is light syrup(1)
~WW Brownie(2)

Points Used=32 of 29
Allowance pts used=3